Sunday, May 22, 2011

Disobedience in sharing God's work in our lives/Private School with no promise of regular income?

  I was sharing with some other women 2 weeks ago, that God has done some amazing things in our family's lives recently. However, I've been reluctant to write about them. I believe God wants me to write about these things as He's doing them...and not wait until they've been done to let other's know about them. Why am I reluctant? I guess I feel as though I'll "jinx" it by telling other's about what He's doing, before we see the total outcome. Or, what if I write about them and those things don't come to fruition? The truth of the matter is, He is in control and He is responsible for the outcome...not me. My responsibility is to simply obey and trust Him with the rest.
  He wants me to trust Him enough to let the world know about what He's doing, when He's doing it...not wait until it's already in the past. I went on to tell these women that I felt like I was being a "Jonah." Like God is telling me He wants me to write these things down, but I'm being disobedient in not doing that. I can't help but wonder if God is holding back some blessings for our family until I obey in this. So, in telling these women about this, I was in effect, asking them to hold me accountable to write these things down on our blog as God is speaking to us.
  So, here is what God wants me to share about:  At the beginning of April, my husband said that we should "put out a fleece," and see if God wants us to send Nathan to a private school for his senior year and for Noah to go also and take an elective or two. I felt like Abraham's wife Sarah, because I chuckled inside and thought, "Are you crazy? Private School for the boys when we have no promise of a regular income anytime in the near future???" However, the Holy Spirit quickly reminded me that God has taken care of our large family on a shoe-string budget for 16 months, and if this is of the Lord, He is the one to make it happen! That was a load off my mind, because God wants us to do only what He tells us to do and we need to trust Him with the rest!
  We put out our fleece and here is the rest of the story, from a journal entry I wrote on April 29, 2011: After staying up until 1:30 am, working on the boy's LCA applications, I spent the whole morning getting the health screenings needed. Don picked up the $200 check some friends gave us to help with the boy's application fees. Plus, we had a check for $450 some friends from years ago, along with their church, had given us. No matter how you look at it, it is preposterous for us to even THINK of singing the boys up for LCA. Yet, there I was, at the sign-in table, handing over a check for $450 (which was $100 more than what the registration and testing fees cost)! It was surreal...it was so crazy, under our circumstances...et it was also scary/exciting! Three weeks ago, we didn't have money for toilet paper! The boys going to LCA is definitely something ONLY God can do!!!Then, like the Israelites...after I got home, I was saying to Don, "What are we going to do, when we don't have the money for the next tuition payment or we don't have money for gas for them to get to school?!?!" I know that if this is God's will for the boys, He WILL make a way for them...He will provide all that's needed. As long as He provides, we need to continue in the direction of the boys going to LCA. No, actually that's wrong. As long as He tells us to continue in that direction, we need to obey first and then He will provide! PTL! That's what faith is...acting on the prompting of the Holy Spirit...then, waiting and trusting our loving, Heavenly Father to provide.
  Later in the day, I had this journal entry (to show how God encourages us amidst our doubting): Early this evening, a friend sent me a very encouraging text that said, "(I) am supposed to remind you of all the 'God sightings' and testimonies of the Lord's provision for you since the beginning of (your) After Eden faith walk...Do not fear, walk in faith because He will provide for the boys and LCA..." That could've only come from the Lord! He knew what I was thinking and He knew I would be encouraged with that message. PTL! And, as if that wasn't enough, a different friend dropped by and although he didn't say much, his smile was worth a thousand words! And, the words he said were so encouraging! Thank you, Lord!

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